(( Scene opens up with with Biohazard standing outside the Roman Coliseum. He is checking his watch often and seems to be very impatient. Suddenly, he smiles as he sees a truck come pulling up. He motions for the truck to back up towards the exit. It does so. The driver, an over weight guy with a cigar hanging out of his mouth, comes walking up with a clipboard.))
Driver: You Wylkes?
Biohazard: That be me, you got my stuff?
Driver: Yeah, just sign here. They sure are hungry little bastards. What you using them for?
Biohazard: Housekeeping.
Driver: Ahh, yeah...Wait, What in the hell is 4 Wild African Lions going to do in regards to housekeeping?
Biohazard: Wez got some Mark A@# wankstas on our WWA Roster. These lions are going to remedy that.
Driver: You're feeding your employees to Hungry lions?
Biohazard: Word. It's in they contract. But I guess the print was just a little too small for them to notice.
Driver: Wow! Any tickets left? It's the wife and I anniversary, and we are looking for something to do.
Biohazard: Sorry Dawg, Show sold out in a matter of hours. But you can catch it on Pay Per View tonight.
Driver: Will do, you have a nice day Mr. Wylkes.
Biohazard: You too. YO! Get out here and get dez lions in the cage!
(( 4 men come walking out and unload the truck. They use a fork lift to take the four crates containing the lions into the Colisseum. Biohazard grins and follows them in. ))
(( Suddenly, the scene in the arena pops up. The lights go dim. The fans begin to scream uncontrollably. A mixture of strobe lights come on and the fans scream even louder. Then Deamon Riight enters the ring.))
Deamon Riight: Good Evening ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to Rome Italy. We are live and this is WWA Can Games 2004!!!!!!!!! ((Pop from the crowd)) Please save your applause until the end of this performance. But here performing a song from their greatest hits album. Former Motown recording artists......Nathan Morris, Shawn Stockman, and Wanya Morris.....Ladies and Gentelmen give it up for Boyz II Men!
(( Fans give a modest pop to the now trio, after departure of base singer Micheal. They are all sitting on stools in the center of the ring with spot lights shining down. Wanya stands up.))
Wanya: Yo! We were supposed to perform this song in memory of Rangon, but since he turned up alive we have decided to rededicate this song to Rob Torborg, Phoenix, Rip Saw, Craig Rodger, Dr. Death, and Mountain Killer. They aren't dead yet, but hey....we all no they will be at the end of the night.
Hooow do IIIIIIIIII. Say Gooodbye....To What....we haaaaaaad.
(( Surprisingly enough, the crowd is getting into it. Lighters have come out and they all begin to sway from side to side at the melodic accapella sound of this sad song. On the big screen various stills of the soon to be lion food are shown. Them losing matches, getting pinned, etc. The scene on the screen fades to black as the harmony rings out through the arena of the last line of the song.))
Itt's soooo haaaard, to say gooodbyyyeeee, to yesterday.... eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Shawn: God Bless you WWA! Let THE GAMES BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!!
(( The fans go crazy as fireworks bust and explode in the air. Sevendust's "Enemy" begins to play and the announcers start that rant.))
Tim Stocks: Welcome everyone to Rome Italy! Home of WWA's Can Games 2004! I'm Tim Stocks joined by Miller and Budweiser's favorite customer.....
Jim Roberts: ......PIMP DADDY JIM ROBERTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We've got an exciting evening planned for all of you! Tim and I have been here all day, The wrestlers are blood thirsty, the lions are hungry...and so is Cesar the Clown! We've got Blood, Guts, Fingers, and Toes instore for everyone...as well as El Feroz's return to a WWA Ring!
Tim Stocks: Presidents Mack and Biohazard are coming out of retirement for a UWF Old school arena pit match! and tonight we say fare well to Freddy Lawson as he takes on Dante in his final WWA Match!
Jim Roberts: Did we mention Gore Galore? Well get your barf bags out, because as Wanya of Boyz II Men mentioned earlier 6 WWA superstars will take on 4 hungry African Lions in a Roman Colisseum style match...just like in the Russell Crowe movie!
Tim Stocks: Enough Jabber Jim! We've got one hell of a first match waiting in the ring!
Match
1
El Grapadura vs. Sandman
First to Set on
Fire
Deamon Riight: Our first match of the evening is scheduled for one fall with a 30 min time limit. The winner of this match will be determined when the loser is set on fire. In the corner to my right, SANDMAN!!!!!!!!!! (Cheap Pop from crowd) And his opponent, El Grapadura!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Cheap pop from crowd.)
(( The referee walks to the center of the ring and holds up a butane torch and a gallon of gasoline. He sits the items in a corner and calls for the bell. Immediately El Grapadura charges Sandman and levels him with a forearm in the corner. He then Irish Whips Sandman across the ring into another turn buckle. Sand man falls to the mat in pain. El Grapadura walks over and stomps on Sandman a couple of times and then stands him up executing a textbook brain buster.))
Jim Roberts: OH! My head! he's going to fill that when he wakes up!
((El Grapadura stands up and stares down at the now unconscious Sandman. He looks around at the crowd and then points over to the torch and gasoline. The crowd goes bananas El Grapadura walks over to the Gasoline and Torch picking up both and walking over to Sandman. He opens the red gasoline container and begins to dump it's contents on Sandman. Sandman doesn't blink through any of this. El Grapadura throws the container to the side after he is happy with it's coverage of the Sandman. He then pulls out a simpler cigarette lighter and holds it in front of the torch. FOOM! The Torch lights up and Grapadura holds it up to the fans for approval.))
Tim Stocks: Oh my God! I can't watch!
Jim Roberts: Just pretend that it's a scary movie.
(( Grapadura then turns his attention towards Sandman. He lowers the torch and then stops. He turns of the torch and the crowd begins to boo. Grapadura then pulls out a book of matches. The fans once again go nutz. Grapadura strikes a match and throws it down on to Sandman. Unfortunately, the match goes out before hitting his body. Grapadura strikes another and throws it down. WOOSH! Just like at a Japanese restaurant, the flame shoots up about 10 feet, blowing Grapadura and the referee back a few yards. The referee and Grapadura both sit up, both black from instant soot, The referee calls for the bell and the match is over. El Grapadura wins by......well....inferno.))
Tim Stocks: SOMEBODY CALL HIS MAMA!
Jim Roberts: mmmmmmmm....Soul Food, do you smell ribs?
Tim Stocks: 5 minutes into the pay per view and you're already drunk! Somebody put him out!
(( Ring side assistance ready with extinguishers rush in and begin to put the blaze out. It's out and Sandman is burnt badly all over his body. Medical personal rush into the ring.))
Deamon Riight: Your winner.....El Grapadura!
Tim Stocks: What a way to start the evening.
Jim Roberts: Yep, BBQ so good, make you wanna slap yo mama!
Tim Stocks: On that note, lets go to Brian Hoffman who is standing by with ....The lions!
Brian Hoffman: Thanks Tim. I'm standing here with Glenn Jackson, professional Lion houser. Glenn tell us what kind of training the lions have had for their big match tonight.
Glenn: what are you talking about? I haven't trained these lions for any match, I thought you just brought them in to eat some people.
Brian Hoffman: Just humor us will ya? What kind of preparations went into getting the lions ready for tonights main event?
Glenn: Well, as instructed we starved the lions for 2 days prior to this match giving them nothing but water to drink. These guys are hungry, and love blood. Human Blood...thought that isn't a pure fact, we've never fed them humans, but i'm sure human flesh isn't much different than that of a Zebra.
Brian Hoffman: Have you trained them to attack humans?
Glenn: Well Mr. Hoffman, as instructed by your bosses we have shown them video tapes of the animals that they usually feed on, and we inserted video clips of the wrestlers they will be going against tonight. As of right now they don't know the difference. It will be like watching National Geographic, when predators attack.
Brian Hoffman: Awesome.....I mean...fascinating. I'm sure it will prove to be one gory match. Thank you for your time Glenn.
Glenn: The pleasure is all mine.
Brian Hoffman: Back to you Tim and Jim!
Tim Stocks: What kind of crazy S^*&% did Biohazard and Mack bring to the WWA?
Jim Roberts: Some Crazy S^*&%, that's what.
Tim Stocks: Well, in any case, lets go on to our next match. Deamon Riight is wait in the ring with both participants.
Match
2
Scott Levi vs. Zach Robinson
Best 2-out of-3
Deamon Riight: This next match is a best 2 out of 3 falls, with a new stipulation every fall. In the Corner to my right, Scott Levi!!!!! (Boos from the crowd, with several cheers) and his opponent, Zach "Terror" Robinson!!!!!! (Mixture of cheers and boos)
(( Scott Levi steps out to the middle of the ring and takes the microphone from Deamon Riight.))
Scott Levi: Alright shut up! I pick the first stipulation for this match right? Well here it is. Zach Robinson is to be bound in a straight jacket until the next Fall!
Jim Roberts: Awesome!
Tim Stocks: That Cheater!
(( Two men enter the ring with the straight jacket and approach Zach Robinson. He is reluctant at first, but eventually gives in, realizing that he agreed to this match, so he must accept whatever comes. The two men apply the jacket and buckle him in. The Bell Sounds and Levi Charges out of the corner. He attempts a spear tackle on Robinson, but Robinson dives out of the way just in the nick of time. Levi spears the post and slumps down in the corner holding his shoulder. Robinson runs up and starts to kick and stomp Levi on the injured shoulder. Levi hollers out in pain. Levi gets a mad look on his face and grabs one of Zach's legs and pulls it out from under him. Zach falls, but hits his head on the second and bottom rope on the way down. Levi jumps up shaking his arm trying to ease the pain in his shoulder. He then runs over to Zach and begins stomping him on the chest, midsection and head.))
Tim Stocks: This is just awful, the man is helpless.
Jim Roberts: More like Jail Bait if you ask me.....do you smell fish?
(( When Levi is content with his work he picks up Robinson and plants him with an even flow ddt. He covers him and without anyway to raise an arm he is counted for three.))
Deamon Riight: Winner of the first Round, Scott Levi!!!!!!!!
(( The same crew that put the jacket on reenters to remove it. The crowd boos at levi's win, mainly because of the method he used in winning it. A bucket of ice water is dumped on Robinson's head waking him up. He stands up and rushes over the Deamon Riight grabbing the microphone.))
Zach Robinson: You want to Detain Levi? Well get ready to for a dose of your own medicine! You aren't going to be constrained to a straight jacket though. You are going to be hooked to a metal chain.......that is also hooked to me!
(( The fans go crazy as the two men reenter with a steel chain. One end is hooked to Scott Levi's wrist and the other end hooked to Robinson's wrist. The two men exit the ring and the bell rings. Levi once again charges Robinson and spears him to the ground. He wraps the chain around his fist and punches Robins, only to miss and hit the mat. Levi screams out in pain and quickly unwraps the chain. Zach in turn pokes Levi in the eye. Levi falls backwards off of Robinson covering his face. Robinson rises to his feet. He stands Levi up and Irish whips him across the ring, after wrapping the chain around a near by corner post. Levi is haulted and his arm is jerked violently. Levi drops to his knees.))
Tim Stocks: DAMN! oh wait...can i say that?
Jim Roberts: It's pay per view....say whatever the F%^& you want
(( Zach unwraps the chain from the post and wraps it around his fist. He walks over to Levi and plants a hard left cross across his face. Levi falls over. Robinson pulls him back up by the chain and levels Levi with another left cross. Levi is now busted open. Robinson picks Levi up and wraps the chain around his neck he begins choking Levi with the chain. Levi is gasping for air and out of desperation hits Robinson with a Low Blow. Robinson grabs his growing and falls over to his back coughing. Levi stands up, shaken from the furious left hands wrapped in steel. He manages to make it to a corner to regroup. Robinson stands up as well. Levi runs over for a standing kick, but Zach catches his leg. Zach spins Levi around causing him to straddle the chaing. Zach then lifts up on the chain causing Levi to nothing crush his nutz, but flip violently.))
Jim Roberts: HAHAHAHAHA....That's gotta hurt!
Tim Stocks: Some bodies touting around about a gallon of Nut butter.
(( Zach takes this opportunity and plants Levi with "Terror's Way." The count is 3 and the second fall is awarded to Zach Terror Robinson.))
Daemon Riight: The winner of the second fall is.....Zach Terror Robinson. Now, here to announce the 3rd stipulation....WWA Reporter #1! Cesar the Clown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(( The Fans go crazy, as Fat Boys "Crushin" comes on. Cesar waddles his way down to the ring with microphone in hand.))
Cesar: Alright, The president has informed me that the 3rd stipulation will be.....a Subway Sandwich eating contest! And the Loser must slow dance...with yours truly!
Tim Stocks: I don't believe this....Subway Sandwich eating contest?
Jim Roberts: Save me one....i'm starving!
((The Fans begin to laugh and cheer as Subway employees bring two trays of sandwiches down to the ring. The Two ringside assistance set up a table in the ring and bring in two folding chairs. Robinson and Levi both look on confused, and deeply disturbed. Neither one of them want this, but to keep from slow dancing with Cesar they'll do anything. They both sit down at the table and the trays are put infront of them.))
Deamon Riight: The two participants will be given 5 minutes to eat as much as they can. Whoever has eaten the most at the end of the 5 minutes will be awarded the victory. On your Mark.....Get Set.....Go!
(( Zach and Scott dig into the sandwich's. They are really shoveling this food in. Scott finishes a sandwich, Zach Finishes a sandwich. So far tied 1-1. Scott makes a fatal mistakes and takes a sip of water, this giving Zach time to scarf down another sandwich, score is 2 -1. Zach is halfway through his third as Scott finishes his second. Score is 2-2, Zach takes the last bite of his 3rd sandwich. Score is 3-2. Oh no, this is going to cost Zach. He's actually taking a moment to put mustard on his turkey and provolone sandwich. This gives Scott time to devour his third sandwich making it a tied score, 3-3. The clock is now at the 2 minute mark and it's starting to show. Both participants have eaten 5 sandwich's a piece and are now struggling through the 6th. As they both approach their 8th sandwich they both begin chewing slower and slower. Zach pulls off a nice move by stuffing the whole sandwich into his mouth putting him ahead be a couple of bits. The score is now 8 -7. The clock is now at 4 mins and 30 secs. Zach is still up by one sandwich, but sickness and fatigue is starting to show through. Scott pulls the same move and ties the score by stuffing the whole sandwich in his mouth. score is now 10-10. These guys really don't want to dance with Cesar. They are on the 11th sandwich and the clock is at 10 seconds. At the 3 second mark Zach stuffs a whole sandwich into his mouth, and Scott, now turning a bright shade of green, puts his sandwich down and runs over to the barf bucket puking his guts out. Final score is 11 - 10, in favor of Zach Terror Robinson. At the sound of the bell, Zach wastes no time in joining Levi at the Barf Bucket.))
Tim Stocks: Wow! that was more exciting than wrestling. Now they are throwing all of those sandwiches back up. I bet these guys won't eat at Subway anymore.
Jim Roberts: Nevermind, I'm not Hungry anymore.
Deamon Riight: The winner of this bout...Zach "Terror" Robinson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now Scott Levi, must slow dance with Cesar the Clown, ladies and gentlemen please welcome back to WWA Can Games, Boys II Men!
(( The trio march out onto the stage. A disco ball comes down and the ring is cleared of everything but Cesar and Scott. Boys II Men break out in "I'll make love to you." Cesar extends his arms Scott walks over pissed off and slaps Cesar across the mouth. He takes the microphone away from Deamon Riight, who is standing on the ring apron.))
Scott Levi: Screw this! I'm not dancing with that Clown. This was a stupid stipulation, and i'm having no part of it. You can all kiss my a#$!
(( Scott throws the microphone down and exits the ring passing by Boys II Men who follow him to the back.))
Tim Stocks: Levi not to happy with the outcome, and who could blaim him?
Jim Roberts: I wouldn't want to dance with him either.
Tim Stocks: Lets continue with this horror movie of wrestling events with Match 3!
MATCH 3
DVK vs. Nightmare vs. Kash vs. Sean Todd Wilde vs. El Feroz
Arena pit
The fighters enter the Arena pit, DVK and Sean Todd can be seen talking together. Kash, eager to get things started begins punching Nightmare, who fights back no questions asked. Their scrap stops to an abrupt roaring of an engine.
Tim: El Feroz is here!
Jim: Are you talking about the guy or the truck?
El Feroz enters the ring and absolute chaos ensues, an all-out punching war, and DVK & Kash are knocked to the ground first. El Feroz and Nightmare team-clotheslines STW. Feroz isn't standing for too long though, as DVK had rolled over to a kendo stick and sweeps the legs out from under him. Sean Todd helps DVK out by placing the Kendo stick across Feroz's throat and standing on one end while DVK holds the other down. After a while, El Feroz is choked out.
1st Eliminated: El Feroz
Nightmare is up and sends a Big Boot flying into Sean Todd's face. Kash lands an elbow drop on DVK. With those two out of the way for now, their attention turns to eachother. Nightmare ducks under a chairshot, grabs a baseball bat and whacks Kash square in the back of the head with it. As Kash falls, Sean Todd throws a bag of tack in their direction. Nightmare shields his eyes, but gets a few tacks in his arms. Kash is a bit worse for wear, and quickly rolls out of the puddle of tacks he landed in. While Nightmare is still stunned, DVK hits the Fatality onto the tacks! Sean Todd climbs a bit of the cage and leaps down on Nightmare with a hard elbow across the back of Nightmare's neck.
2nd Eliminated: Nightmare
Tim: Kash is in there alone against two fierce competitors who've decided to team up, it seems. Could the end be near?
Jim: It's not over til Rudy belches... or something. I forget the rules of this match.
As Kash wearily gets to his feet, DVK and STW are poised ready for him. Just as STW is about to make his move, DVK whacks him right in the gut with his Kendo stick, and Kash desparately hits the KashFlow! Kash on his feet but just barely, he turns to find a huge spinning strike from DVK's Kendo stick hitting him in the face.
Tim: It looks like this one's over... wait, Sean Todd's moving! I can't believe it!
Jim: I told you Rudy... something. It ain't over, aight!
2rd Eliminated: Kash
DVK goes for a downward stirke to STW still on the ground, but he catches the stick and looks up with a rage in his eyes. Using the Kendo stick to pull himself up, Sean Todd has a few words with DVK before kicking him in the gut, and hitting a SeanPlex on DVK. Not quite finished, STW grabs a lead pipe and climbs the cage again. Leaping off looking to knock DVK out, he finds DVK's raised boots pushing the pipe into his face.
Tim: Ouch! effective counter from DVK. Sean Todd is well and truly bleeding now.
Jim: Where was that move when he lost to Dante, eh?
Tim: It was right there with when Dante went off the top rope. Idiot.
Jim: Where's he going now?
DVK is crawling over to a duffel bag a few feet away. He fishes around in it for a while, and as Sean Todd finally approaches, he spins around and sandwhiches STW's head between his two championship belts! Dazed on his feet, there's nothing Wilde can do to stop the Fatality.
4th Eliminated: Sean Todd Wilde
Daemon Riight: Your winner, and new #1 Contender for the Lightweight Division - DVK!
Tim Stocks: He might have missed out on the Worlds title, but the master of Dung Fu moves up in the ranks to challenge our Lightweight champion.
Jim Roberts: Dung what?
Tim Stocks: Never mind, next we've got a match between Nightmare and Unleashed.
Match 4
Nightmare vs. Unleashed
Unleashed walks to the ring pissed off at his loss to Rangon on Terror, and the boos from the packed crowd don't help, either. The noises soon change as Nightmare's music hits and he starts running to the ring, ready to continue his vengeance on his giant rival. Unleashed makes some slow moves towards Nightmare, who easily dodges and springboards off the ropes behind him coming back with a huge Bulldog.
Jim: Now that's what I call Torque!
As Unleashed gets to his knees, Nightmare starts pounding left and right, boxing his temples. After he's tired of that he steps back and hits a dropkick to the face, sending Unleashed back flat on the mat. To the top rope now, posing for the crowd and getting a huge pop for a flipping leg drop. Unleashed manages to get to his feet and roars a bit, only to get kicked in the gut and hit with the Bad Dreams!
Tim: The referee is looking to call this match, Unleashed can't take much more of this!
Nightmare argues with the ref and pulls Unleashed up off the mat and moves his arms around like a puppet, trying to argue that he's good to keep fighting. The ref allows it, and Nightmare hits another Bad Dreams. The ref calls the bell this time.
Daemon Riight: Your winner by Knockout, Nightmare!
Jim: He doesn't look like he's finished!
Nightmare looks under the ring for a bit and finds what he's looking for - the titanium bat he used at Terror. He slides back into the ring and props Unleashed up in the corner, trying his arms up in the ropes. Pacing back to the opposite corner, he charges full speed holding his bat by both ends and dives, crashing it into the skull of Unleashed. A distrubing crack accompanies a roar to rival the lions as Unleashed's head is snapped back and a mass of blood starts pouring from his forehead. WWA Elite Security rushes to the ring and restrains Nightmare, hauling him backstage as EMTs make their way over to aid Unleashed.
Tim: Thank god that's over, I think I'm going to be sick!
Jim: And that's not the least we have left tonight!
Match 5
Jason Myers vs. Terry O'Reilly
"Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" blares through the Coliseum. The Ring is being raised up from the lower pit as Jason Myers makes his way to the ring.
Riight: Coming down to the ring weighing in at two hundred and seventy-six pounds, Jason Myers.
The fans start to boo and Jason just flips them off.
Tim: The fans are not liking Jason right now.
Jim: Yeah its probly because he sold out to Mack and Bio to do this match.
Tim: Yeah your right He did sell out.
"Glendaruel Highlanders" comes on and the fans begin to cheer loudly. Riight doesn't even get a chance to introduce Terry. Terry makes a beeline to the ring and starts to attack Jason. And the bell rings.
Tim: Terry is ready for this. He wants his son back.
Jim: I hope he doesn't get him back.
Tim: WHAT????
Jim: He is just to good of a drinking partner.
Terry continues his assault of boots to the ribs of Jason. The ref tries to pull Terry off but Terry throws him to the side. Terry tries to pick Jason up. But Jason responds with a quick elbow to the gut. He then follows up with a right jab and the a short arm clothesline. When Terry fits the ground the crowd boos and Jason flicks them off. When Jason turns back around Terry nails him with drop kick to the chest. Jason stumbles back. Terry quickly follows up with a running clothesline. This sends both men to the dirt floor of the Coliseum.
Jim: Looks like Terry is not going to stay down.
Terry and Jason both get to there feet. Terry charges at Jason and spears him back to the ground. He just stars laying in punches into Jason's Mask/Face. After a little blood starts to run out from under the mask. Jason tries to get up but cannot. He gets a hand full of dirt and throws it into Terry's face. Terry rolls over in pain. Jason slowly gets to his feet the throws Terry back into the ring. Jason follows in and watches Terry. Terry is temporary blinded by the sand and starts swinging in the air. As he is swinging he spins around and hit the ref. Jason takes quick advantage of this and low blows Terry. He then hits Lights Out and Terry is out. Jason goes for the cover. But there is no ref to count.
Tim: Now that was low. No man deserves anything like that.
Jim: His poor jewels.
Jason gets up to wake the ref up. When he turns around Terry is standing there, pokes Jason in the eyes, and hit the O'Reilly Factor. Then goes for the pin.
1....2....3.
Riight: Your winner by pin fall, Terry O'Reilly.
Tim: Terry get his son back.
Jim: There goes one drinking partner. And Freddy is retiring. I have no one left.
As Terry and Jason leave the ring, "Immortal" by Adema comes playing over the arena. The crowd goes wild. A section in the floor opens up and Moe comes walking out. He is wearing the "Lord of Bling" shirt and a pair of jeans. He puts a mic to his mouth.
Moe: "The Set Initiative looks on its last legs.
With Tony on break, Jonny out on injury, Sarah quitting and Freddy
retiring, right now it's just me and Rangon."
Moe: "Right now, it seems like everyone is making a play for some
sort of allegiance. Everyone's been confident that I'd be alive to follow
through. Believe me, there are some shocking propositions that have been
made. But tonight, enjoy the games. Because a decision as big as the one
I'll be making, is only fit for one thing - the return of "Fan to
Face", live next Sunday on MoeDown!"
Moe drops the mic and walks back into the opening and the floor clothes behind him. The crowd goes wild.
Tim: I wonder what the decision is.
Jim: Tim! I'm hearing something in my headset! Let's cut to the locker rooms!
Show DVK's locker room, where he and Sean Todd are arguing over the outcome of their match earlier.
STW: What the hell was that?! You whack me with both your title belts at once?
DVK: Oh I'm sorry. Does my success hurt you? I'm lucky your thick head didn't put a dent in either of these. See you and me, teaming up? Ain' gon' work...
Just then, Nightmare bursts through the door and clocks DVK over the head with his bat. DVK is out cold.
STW: Thanks man, saves me from having to do that.
Nightmare: You know how you can thank me properly?
STW: Team up?
Nightmare: Or you could try begging for your life.
STW: What?
With that, Nightmare unloads a series of hard shots to Sean Todd's torso and limbs, finally cracking one in the back of STW's knees sending him down.
Nightmare: Want me to stop?
STW (struggling to put his hands up in front of him): Duh.
Nightmare: BEG!!
STW: Alright! Please, stop.
Nightmare: Well, that's better but... I'll see you in the ring on Showdown!
Nightmare kicks STW in the head and leaves the scene.
Tim Stocks: I don't believe it! STW and DVK are not teaming up.
Jim Roberts: This suprises you? STW is more scared of commitment than me.
Tim Stocks: You got a point there, anyway, lets check out this match. The second one signed for WWA Can Games, and will probably be a great one.
Match 6
UWF AllStars in the Arena Pit!
In the Arena pit all the old UWF stars stand in a
circle. Something familiar about all of this, something right. Biohazard
back in compitition along side of Mack and other members who built the WWA
into what it is today. All togethter fighting for the belt where they
started their careers. Rangon being the defending champion came down with
the old UWF belt. Holding it up for all to see, he then placed it to the
side. It waited there for the winner of this match.
Jim Roberts: It doesnt even feel like we are watching a WWA match.
Tim Stocks: Maybe its because its not really a WWA match.
Jim Roberts: No thats not it.
Tim Stocks: What is it then?
Jim Roberts: Rudy is really small.
Tim Stocks: Oh, brother. Lets just see what is going on.
In the pit Padre and Mack are locked up together, while Rangon is taking
on Biohazard. JJ Rock lunges out at Rudy but he dives under his legs and
picks up a lead pipe that had been laying on the ground. By the time JJ
had turned around he felt the cold mettle hit right where Rudy had just
dove through. JJ Rock went down to his knees in pain. Rudy then looked
around and tried to find a hiding spot.
Jim Roberts: So if I get this right, if that pain lasts for more than 4
hours he should consult a doctor.
Tim Stocks: I know two things, one that he needs a doctor anyway and two
that pain will last much longer than 4 hours.
In the ring it appears that Mack and Biohazard had been working together
on Rangon while Padre had been laid out from a baseball bat to the side of
the face by the hands of Mack. The double DDT had Rangon on the ground and
now Biohazard went for the pin, but Mack would have none of that and
pulled Biohazard away. He then himself went for a pin. Biohazard dove
taking Mack off of Rangon and sent them both rolling. Bio ended up on top
of Mack and began punching.
Tim Stocks: Doesn't seem like they are on the same page now.
Jim Roberts: Also seems like they are forgetting mini me.
Tim Stocks: Who?
Jim Roberts: Look.
Rudy comes flying out of the corner and nails Biohazard with his weapon of
choice, lead pipe. Bio never saw it coming focusing mostly on remodeling
Mack's face. Rudy then started taunting over Bio's body. In fact Rudy was
the only man still standing. That was until finally Padre got up from his
double DDT. He taps Rudy on the shoulder. Instead of just turning Rudy
swings the pipe as he turns but Padre dodges it. With a smirk he then
kicks Rudy in the face down to the ground sending him tumbling over once.
Padre goes for the count on Rudy but somehow the little man kicks out. In
anger Padre takes Rudy and lifts him over his head. By this time Mack has
gotten back to his feet but that didnt last long as Padre hurled Rudy
right into Mack's stomach. Mack feel back to the ground. Padre not
thinking it threw didnt realize that now Rudy was set up for a pin. 1...
2.... no Biohazard's hand grabs Rudy's leg and pulls it off. Biohazard
gets to his feet feeling his busted open forehead.
Jim Roberts: Now its started to get like the UWF matches I was told about.
Padre starts searching for something to finish off Biohazard with and
finds a 2x4. Bio knowing how to win this type of match did the same but
went instead for a ranged weapon. He bent down to pick up a cement block.
Turning his back to Padre when he had done so. As Padre charged knowing
this hit would insure his victory, got within feet before Biohazard turned
around tossing this massive cement block striaght at the head of Padre. He
barely saw it coming. It busted over his head. As if a bird running into
an window his whole body stoped and fell limp. Pieced skatered over his
fallin body and all around him. Bio knocked a bit off before going to the
cover and the win.
Tim Stocks: God, I hope he is still breathing.
Jim Roberts: What a block head?
Tim Stocks: Thats not funny Jim a man's life could be lost.
Jim Roberts: Well nobody made him get in the Arena Pit.
After the Match Mack enters back into the ring. He gets a mic and clears his throat.
Mack: Tonight has been a good night. And it looks to be getting even better.
The crowd goes wild.
Mack: But from this point forward the WWA is publicly stating that the last will be the bloodiest and deadliest match you have ever scene. The WWA is no way responsible for the loss of life, body parts, and blood that will spilt on this ground. The wrestlers in these match signed a contract stating that the WWA is no way responsible to what happens to them. From this point on the ring will no longer be used.
With this the Ring slowly enters back into the lower area of the Coliseum. The hole in the floor gets covered up.
Mack: Enjoy the rest of the show.
The crowd cheers as Mack sinks down with the ring.
Jim Roberts: That whole sinking affect is cherry. Nice touch.
Tim Stocks: Yep, that is the spectical that is WWA. This match Mack talks about is of course the lions match, I won't be able to watch it, my stomach is too weak.
Jim Roberts: I can't watch either, it'll kill my buzz.
Tim Stocks: And we'd all hate for that to happen, anyway, lets continue with the action.
Match 7
"ICEman" Moe Hunter vs. Darryl Fancher
Pyro Death Match
Without a sound two doors open on opposite sides of the Coliseum floor. Fancher comes out of one door. He walks out to the middle of the floor and waits for Moe. Moe steps out he is wearing Chain Mail shirt, Leather gloves, boots, and paints. He has a shogun helmet on and has a double-edge Katana in his hand. He also had a small shield strapped to his wrist. There is a Hunter family crest on it.
Tim: Looks like Moe is ready for this.
Jim: I am scared to watch this match.
As Moe moves to the center of the floor. A Ring of Fire appears around Moe and Fancher. The ring has a diameter of fifteen feet and a width of about five feet. Fancher makes the first move. He tries to circle around Moe, but Moe keeps in step with him. He has his shield in front of him and his Katana to the side, ready to strike. Fancher stops and reaches into his back pocket. He quickly throws a knife at Moe. Moe blocks it with his shield. When Moe pull the shield up, Fancher charges and spear tackles Moe. Moe hits the ground and his Katana slides near the fire edge. Moe and Fancher continue to throw blows at each other. Moe reaches back one good time and sends the shield across Fancher's face. The blade caught in it also goes across Fancher's face. A stream off blood starts to roll down his cheek. Fancher and Moe both see the blood and they start to go at it even more.
Tim: They look like ravage dogs down there. This is not going to end good.
Fancher jumps on Moe and starts to pound down on him. He evenly gets to his feet and picks Moe up. He then lifts Moe into a body slam but keeps him in his arms. Moe tries to struggle out but cannot. Fancher walks over to the fire and slams Moe into the edge of the fire.
Jim: Oh my God!!! Moe is on Fire!!!
Moe rolls out of the fire and rolls on the ground to put it out. Fancher reaches down and grabs the chain mail, but burns his hand on it. Moe continues to roll in pain. He eventually stops and lays on his stomach around the edge of the fire. Fancher walks over to him, kicks him in the side of the face, causing Moe's nose to be broken open. He then grabs Moe by the hair and lifts him up. When Moe stands up his back is to Fancher. Fancher goes to spin him around. Moe spins around and catches Fancher with a clean cut from the Katana across the throat. Blood sprays all of Moe.
Jim: I am going to be sick.
Tim: This is the worst thing I have ever scene.
The crowd goes completely quite. Fancher's face is that of surprise. He starts to choke up blood and starts to get a glazed look to his face. He eventually collapses on the floor and stops breathing. The bell rings and the ring of fire goes down. Paramedics quickly come out and load Fancher up and take him away. Moe is still standing in the center of the ground, covered in the blood of himself and Fancher.
The scene cuts away to Jim and Tim. Jim is still throwing up in a trash can.
Tim: I am just at a loss of words. I have no idea what to say about the event that just took place.
Jim: HUUUUUAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!!!! *spit*, dude...I don't think I can handle anymore.
Tim: Well, Next we've got a match for the number 1 contendership of the Heavyweight title.
Match 7
Kamakazi vs. Rangon
Heavyweight Title
Last Man Standing
As the fire is slowly beings to burn away and Moe and Fancher are being carried away. A crew comes out and cleans up all the weapons and gets the grounds ready for the next match. Rammsten-Links 1, 2, 3 comes on and Rangon makes his way out to the floor.
Riight: Coming in at a weight of 280 pounds, the challenger, Rangon.
Then Fire Starter by Prodigy blasts on and Kama makes his way to the ring. He has a mask on over his face so he cannot see a thing.
Riight: Coming down to the rings, weighing in at 225 pounds, your WWA Heavyweight Champion, Kamakazi.
Kama steps out a little and then stands in a defensive stance.
Tim: Wow I am surprised...Kama is a man of his word. He cannot see a thing.
Jim: I don't believe him lets find out.
Jim throws a tennis ball at Kama. The ball bounces of Kama's head.
Kama: What the???
Kama never gets a chance to finish that statement. Rangon runs up and spears Kama. He then gets up and does a standing dropkick to the down Kama. Kama quickly gets back to his feet and in his stance again. Rangon flips off Kama, but Kama doesn't respond. Rangon thinking he will be smart and sneak around Kama, side steps, and is meet with a Kamakick to the right temple. Rangon falls to the ground.
1...2....3...
Jim: Looks like the training paid off for Kama.
Tim: Yeah I am surprised at what the Reverend has done to him.
Just then the Sykes jumps down from the side of the pit. He is carrying something in each hand. He gets about five feet from Kama and the down Rangon. He first throws a bucket of water on Rangon to wake him up. Kama hears the commotion with Rangon and Sykes, so he doesn't know where to place his focus at. Just then the Rev. throws a massive fire ball at Kamakazi. His whole body is covered in flames. Kama drops to the ground screaming in pain trying to roll the fire out. The Rev turns and leaves. Rangon has a confused look on his face.
Jim: That little SOB just turned on Kama.
Tim: Does that surprise you?
Rangon grabs the bucket that Sykes had water in and smashes it over Kama's head. Kama goes limp.
1...2...3....4....5....6....7...
Jim: Looks like Kama it out.
8...9...10.
Riight: Your winner and NEW Heavyweight Champion Rangon.
Paramedics quickly come out and take Kama to the back.
Jim: Something is going on in the back.
The camera cuts to Craig Rodgers Dressing Room. In the back ground you can see his body hanging from the ceiling. Brian Holfman walks up to the camera.
Holfman: It looks like the thought of the Lion Match got to Craig Rodgers. A back stage worker came in and found Rodgers like this. Maybe he was the only smart one in the group.
Match 8
Freddy vs. Dante
Iron Man, Pin Anywhere
Down the Sun by Medicate comes on as Dante makes his way out.
Riight: Coming down to the ring at a weight of 295 pounds, Dante.
The crowd cheers then Boom by POD comes on and the crowd erupts.
Riight: Coming down to the ring, for his last match, weighing in at 300 pounds, your former WWA Champion and Tag Team Champion, Freddy.
Tim: This crowd is loving this.
Jim: I think Freddy is loving it too.
Freddy and Dante meet in the middle of the Coliseum floor. They stare down each other and the bell rings. Dante sticks out his hand and Freddy shakes it. When they let go each one takes a step back and gets ready for the fight.
Tim: This is going to be a great match.
Jim: Yeah. Sixty minutes of two great athletes going at it.
Dante steps up to Freddy and they lock up. Dante gets the upper hand and hits a power slam. He then flows it with a suplex and a standing elbow drop. Freddy quickly gets up, hits and upper cut and hits a modified version of the Living Hell and goes for the pin.
1...2..Kick out.
*30 minutes later*
Freddy once again get the upper hand back with a reverse of a ddt into a spear into the side of the Coliseum wall. Freddy then hits his own ddt and goes for the pin.
1...2...kick out.
Jim: This match has been going on for 40 minutes, its hard to believe there hasn't been a pin or a fall yet.
Tim: These are just great competitors.
Freddy cannot believe this either. He slowly lifts himself up and picks Dante up. He grabs Dante by the back of the head and throws him as hard as he can into the wall. Dante's face becomes busted up by this.
Riight: Ten Minutes Remaining.
Freddy tries to go for a second but Dante blocks it. He then throws Freddy into the wall and catches Freddy coming back and hits a side walk slame. He goes for the cover.
1...2..Kick out.
Freddy and Dante lay on the ground for a second.
Jim: This Match has taken it out of both of them.
Riight: One minute to go.
Tim: They better hurry up.
Freddy and Dante get up at the same time. Freddy reaches for Dante but Dante hits the Death Driver and goes for the pin.
1...2...3
Riight: First Fall goes to Dante. Ten seconds remaining.
9...8...7...6...
Freddy slowly gets to his feet.
5...4...3...2...1.
Riight: Your winner by one Fall, Dante.
Tim: Dante is the only man to beet Freddy, one on one.
Jim: That was a great fight.
Dante shakes Freddy's hand and raises it in the air. The fans go crazy.
Tim: There goes one of the greatest men to fight in the square circle.
Main Event
African Lions vs. WWA Lotto Winners
***Due to the nature of this match, there will be no commentary. Tim Stocks has a weak stomach, and Jim Roberts has passed out drunk.***
Rob Torborg, Dr. Death, Mountain Killer, Rip Saw, and Pheonix are all standing outside the cage in the center of the Roman Coliseum. The Ring is gone and all that is left are these hungry lions and these 5 poor men who are all set to meet their fate. They have nothing but spears and roman gladiator helmets for protection. Suddenly, the fans go crazy as Biohazard, Mack, Crystal Long, and Massachi Honztorri step out to a balcony. The 5 men all turn to then and salute.
The men: Hail WWA Staff! We who are about to die....Salute you!
The staff return the salute. The cage is about to be opened. Pheonix is standing in front of the rest of them. He turns back and looks at them.
Phoenix: Any of you ever been in the army? (Nobody speaks) .... Well, when this cage opens, we must be ready, everyone stick together, and we'll survive.
Just then the cage door opens. The other four participants shove Phoenix into the cage and the door slams closed. He didn't even know what him. He is instantly dobble ganged by the Lions who sink their teeth into his muscular flesh. He screams in agony and struggles for his life, but it is of no use. A stream of blood shoots up into the air as does bits of gore. He raises his arm, it is covered with blood. As it slowly begins to droop, a Lion bites down hard into his forearm causing even more blood to drip from the large teeth wounds. The other four participants look on in Terror as they await their fate. Biohazard stands up.
Biohazard: Sorry, false start. How embarrasing. Anyway, ROB TORBORG, MOUNTAIN KILLER, RIP SAW, and DR. DEATH......go into this match...with the glory and honor of a WWA Wrestler, and know that though these Lions may take your lifes, they may never take your win and loss records!
The four men look up with pissed off looks. The Cage doors open and the four men run in with the door slamming shut behind them. Instantly, two of the Lions lose interest in the ragged remains of Phoenix and run at Mountain Killer. He is able to spear one in the paw causing it to run off, but the other one jumps him and send him to his back. Mountain killer The Lion sinks its teeth and locks its jaws on Mountain Killers right shoulder. Blood shoots up into the air and Mountain Killer screams in pain. Out of desperation Moutain Killer gouges the Lion in the eyes causing it to loosen it's bite. Meanwhile, Dr. Death makes the mistake of pulling one of the lions off of Phoenix and trying to pop the spear in it's neck. He under estimated the tremendous power of the lion and it bites down hard on to Deaths Forearm causing it to snap.
Rob Torborg charges the lion with the hurt paw with his spear. POP! He sticks the lion right in the throat with the spear. The Lion immediately goes to it's back gargling and roaring. Trying to pull the spear from it's neck with it's paw. Eventually, it tires out and just lays there bleeding. The last Lion looks up, with intrails hanging from it's mouth. It is staring right at Torborg. Suddenly, Rip Saw stomps down on the back of the Lions head. The lion turns around un fazed and leaps at Rip Saw biting hard into Rip Saws throat. The lion begins to struggle while biting and ends up ripping Rip Saws Jugular vain right out of his neck. Rip Saw lays there bleeding from his mouth and throat, choking on his own blood. The Lion then starts work on Rip Saws belly. It's easy to see that Rip Saw is pretty much gone.
The count is now even. One Lion dead and Two Participants dead. The lion who is now feasting on the bloody, still struggling for life, body of Rip Saw is suddenly whacked int the back of the head with a helmet. The Dazed Lion stops eating and turns around. There stands Rob Torborg. When he sees that it just makes the lion angry he turns and runs, but is jumped by the lion who is now blinded from Mountain Killers eye gouge. The Lions chomps down on Torborgs thigh, looking for meat. The Lion jerks away ripping a big chunk of flesh from his leg. Torborg screams like a woman.
Meanwhile, Dr. Death is still having his arm eaten by the lion. He see's Phoenix's spear laying beside the entrance he grabs it, and with a quick swip slits the lions throat. The Lion roars with blood spewing from his throat. The massive lion collapses onto Dr. Death. The weak Dr. Death cannot push the Lion off of him, but finds The Lion That was left eating Phoenix now peering straight into his eyes. Dr. Death, out of fear, screams and The Lion leans down delivering a massive chomp into Dr. Death's face. Blood seeps out of the Lions powerful jaws and that does it for Dr. Death.
Another Lion dead, another participant down. We've got a blinded Lion eating Torborgs leg, and another feasting on the kisser of Dr. Death. Mountain Killer is down, but not out with a shoulder wound. Mountain Killer returns to his feet and grabs a stray spear. He stumbles over to Torborg. He raises the spear into the air and with all the strength he has left, drives the spear through the Lions back, through his stomach, and into the ground. The Lion is impelled, and begins to struggle and jerk. The spear is snapped in half and the lion kicks Mountain Killers legs out from under him. Mountain Killer falls to his back. The Lion struggles a bit more and finally just lays down, still kicking. The lion slower and slower ceases to struggle, and finally goes limp. Mountain Killer hops back up and stumbles over to Torborg dragging him over to the corner of the cage. There is one lion and two injured participants. The fresh lion finishes his work on Dr. Deaths head, other than skull there is nothing much left. He looks over and see's Torborg and Mountain Killer in the corner. He sniffs and begins to walk over. Mountain Killer removes his helmet, and holds it tightly to be used as a weapon. The Lion stops and looks over at Phoenix's remains and digs in. Mountain Killer stands up and slowly walks over to the snaped intwo spear that is sticking out of the ground. He grabs it up and turns to the lion. He holds it up and throws it at the lion. It hits the lion but does not penetrate the skin. The lion stops eating and looks up. It has a liver hanging from it's mouth. It roars and the bloody organ falls to the ground with a splat. Mountain Killer turns and trys to run, but doesn't make it to far when the charging lion leaps up and lands on Mountain Killers back. It bites down hard onto Mountain Killers Mangled shoulder. Mountain Killer struggles, but the weight of the enormous animal is too much. Torborg pulls himself up using the cage and hops on one foot towards the spear that was thrown at the lion. He retrieves it and turns to Mountain Killer and the Lion. He leaps into the air, from one foot, with the spear held high. The lion turns and sees this. The Lion moves, and Torborg lands right on top of Mountain Killer driving the spear deep into his back, through his heart. Mountain Killer doesn't even struggle, he passes out from shock, and soon enough bleeds to death.
The Match is now down to Torborg and the Lion. Torborg is missing a large section of his thigh, and the lion is unharmed. The Lion leaps up into the air. Torborg rolls out of the way, and the lion lands on Mountain Killer. Torborg backs up against the cage, but is met by the charging lion. The lion jumps onto Torborg, out of desperation wraps his arms around the Lion, and they begin to roll. They roll around the cage for a bit. Torborg makes the mistake of releasing the lion and it snaps down on his elbow causing it to hyperextend to the point of breaking . The Lion pulls and jerks, causing Torborg's arm to be ripped from the socket. Torborg lets out a deathly squeal and the lion drags the arm off. Torborg out of panic hops up on one leg and darts at the lion. He jumps on top of the Lion and wraps his one good arm around it. They roll a couple of times until the Lion lets out a loud screatching roar. Torborg once again releases the lion and backs away. The Lion rolled untop of the lion with the spear hanging out of him. The combined weight of the lion and Torborg pushed the spear through the Lion.
Torborg and the Lion are now laying on opposite sides of the cage. Suddenly, Only God Can Judge me begins to play, and the Hazardous Records stable of artist come walking out into the cage. They are all strapped with gats, with the exception of Necro Gangsta, who has a double sided axe. They all turn and look up at the WWA staff. Biohazard rises and extends his arm with a thumb sticking out to the side. Biohazard looks around at the audience and then turns his thumb down. The Rappers turn to Torborg and the lion. Suddenly they all pull their gats and empty their clips into the Lion. When the bullets are all gone Necro Gangsta runs up and begins to slice and dice the lion. A bell sounds and Deamon Riight enters the cage with a microphone.
Daemon Riight: Ladies and Gentlemen we have a survivor. The High staff has decided to spare Rob Torborg for his bravery and undying will to live. Though it seems kind of pointless, because he is missing an arm and will probably need that leg amputated. Anyway, on behalf of The WWA, Thank you and Good night!!!!!!!!
